Despite a progressive Constitution and affirming legislation, sexual and gender minorities experience discrimination in South Africa. This reflects the ongoing impact of heteronormativity, 'culture' arguments and violence in suppressing non-normative sexual and gender identities. In the present study we conducted interviews with eight young, lesbian women and gay men in eThekwini municipality in KwaZulu-Natal province. Three major themes emerged: Language and constructions of gender and sexuality; experiences of homophobia; and Challenging 'culture' arguments. Participants tended to replicate heteronormativity and traditional understandings of gender in their lives; they experienced homophobia and homophobic violence; and they challenged homophobic 'culture' arguments.