In South Africa non-marital cohabitation rates among Africans remain low, and particularly in the context of very low marriage rates. Through qualitative interviews with urban isiZulu-speakers we explore attitudes towards ukukipita (cohabiting) in contemporary Zulu society. These in-depth interviews capture the meanings associated with non-marital cohabitation and they provide insights into why cohabitation is widely viewed as unacceptable in Zulu society unless the man has initiated ilobolo (bridewealth) negotiations and concrete marriage plans are in place. Cohabitation without ilobolo payment is widely interpreted as akin to behaving disrespectfully towards Zulu culture and tradition, the immediate family and the Zulu community more broadly.